Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Wanting More

I'm suddenly hit with a wave of nostalgia. I miss those summer days 3 years ago, laying in bed with the man boy I liked at the time (I wouldn't call it love). The summer before college when not a care was had. I was in a different country with my closest friends, drinking past midnight and exploding fireworks for the hell of it. Getting caught with alcohol by my mom and being way too tired for orchestral performances the next day...

But why? I have the best partner I could ask for today. I have the best job, comfort, future in front of me and I'm suddenly wanting those days back. Maybe it's the lack of responsibility back in the day. I miss being carefree. I miss not having to worry about the next class or the next paper. I miss not filling out forms for TAXES. I feel guilty for missing a time with somebody else who's not Shawn. He is 10000 times better than HE was. Why am I not content with what I have?